Ok, leaving unprovable spiritualistic things aside and to chose your eye color - we don’t know for sure.
But what we do know is, that we all go through stages of personal maturity. And we get to meet our ego and self-confidence. Or, for example, the effects of Dunning-Kruger effect.
But the point is how do we chose to respond/react, and if we decide to learn or blame.

So, in a way, I believe we do get to ‘spin the knobs’ how patient (we want) to be.